Date:         Sun, 22 Sep 1996 01:21:50 -0500
From: Bandwidth Pig 
Subject:      WOOSETKHTM (II)
To: Multiple recipients of list WORDS-L 

I went to the HEB to buy a roll or two of black-and-white film. Couldn't
find it. It was nearly midnight so the regular "Photo Place" staff was
already gone for the day. A stock clerk saw me nosing around the photo
counter and asked if he could help me (a sure sign of the
"meet-and-greet" method of shoplifting prevention).

Me: I'm looking for black-and-white film but it appears you don't carry
it anymore.

Clerk: Black-and-white film?

Me: Yes, I suppose it's just another of those things that used to be
common but now I'll have to go to a camera store to find it or whatever.

Clerk: We don't carry anything like that.

Me: I was afraid of that...wait...there it is, can I have a roll of each?
(I had spotted a small display of Tri-X and Plus-X.)

Clerk: What is it? Where is it?

Me: Just put your hand right out and you'll be touching it.

Clerk: What? Huh?

Me: Right in front of you...look down...that's take one of each
and hand them to me.

Clerk: Huh? What? You want this? What is it?

Me: That's it...that's Tri-X..and that's, take both...that's hand them to me.

Clerk. Huh. What is it?

Me: It's black-and-white film.

Clerk: Well...what do you do with it?

Me: Take pictures.

Clerk: Pictures? Of what?

Me: You Dogs, cats, trees,

Clerk: mean like...PICTURES. Not ordinary pictures.

Me: That's my hope, but it remains to be seen.

Clerk. Well, HUH. I never heard of anyone doing that before. I didn't
even know that kind of film existed.

Date:         Sun, 22 Sep 1996 01:43:14 -0500
Sender: English Language Discussion Group 
From: Bandwidth Pig 
Subject:      WOOSTTKHTM (III)
To: Multiple recipients of list WORDS-L 

On a subsequent trip to the HEB, I stopped to browse the section of
unnamable Chinese vegetables. This stuff looks like something you'd pay
the yard man to haul away. I picked up one big bundle of some long grassy
thing, and was thinking to myself how much it resembled something you
might dredge up off the floor of a shallow sea. Could find no sign
describing its name. But LO! there was a plastic band holding it
together, and on the band was printed a web address.

A clerk--the omnipresent HEB clerk--saw me puzzling and asked if he could
help. No, I thanked him, I was just marveling at the fact this thing has
a web address. He looked quizzical. You know--an internet address? Oh, he
smiled, relieved. "You must be really into computers, huh?" "You could
say that," I replied, pushing my cart off into the sunset.