Date:         Wed, 7 Aug 1996 20:39:40 EST
From: gilbertsmith <>
Subject:      WLM at Quail Corners
To: Multiple recipients of list WORDS-L <>


So I get up my courage to go to the book signing and scour the house,
or what's left of it, for books that I know I have by this author.
Find only one, her second from a while back, but cant find the
others.  So I go to my favorite second hand book store and find three
others, two are first printings and the other isn't.  Then I think,
this is really gauche, asking her to sign four plus the new one that
I will buy at the store to make it all o.k.

So I decide on two to take with me and get to the store and see her
new book:  beautiful cover, but they have copies and copies and
copies of the third printing....  I keep looking and finally find a
first printing and take it to the counter.

I'm like I'm buying this one, do you mind if I leave these other two
here while I look some more?  Nice man says certainly of course and
are you a member of our Reading Club?  No.  What is it?  If you are a
teacher,...  "I am a teacher..."  or if you are over 55...  "I *am*
over 55..."  Then you qualify for a 30% discount.  Where do you
teach?  "NC State."  Oh, sorry that doesn't count, only elementary
and secondary, but you're over 55 so that's enough.

My my my these are nice people, this is fun.  "Does she start right
at 7:30?"  Yes, probably.  So I look around some and then get my
books and go sit on the second row.  On the first row is this very
very attractive woman, and I am sure it is the author.  Oh my god!
She flashes me a smile and I am *in* *love* with Susan Isaacs.  I am
*in* *love* with Neal's cousin, ohmygod!!!!  So I smile at her and
send her love messages and think I will die because she's married and
famous and this is one more case of like break my heart I'm used to

Then the reading is about to begin.

Date:         Wed, 7 Aug 1996 20:48:34 EST
From: gilbertsmith <>
Subject:      WLM at Quail Corners 2
To: Multiple recipients of list WORDS-L <>


So I get ready for her to get up and read, looking at me all the
time, because I can tell she already has a <thing> for me.  The
moderator, the nice man who gave me 30% off introduces her and she
gets up and it's somebody else.  I was looking at the wrong one.

Susan is very attractive, very funny, and very personable.  I was
completely entranced and captivated by her reading and her response
to questions.  So I ask a question about what she thought of the
movie version of Compromising Positions.  Nice answer.  This is a
woman with a *lot* of good sense.  I am in love again.

Then the signing and I run up to the desk and brazenly step in front
of several women and hand Susan a photograph of the porch at the
Clambake, Neal right in the center and me in the background with only
my white hair showing, and I'm like:  "I thought that if I gave you
this picture you might sign all three of these for me."  She looks at
the picture, is speechless, then starts laughing and says: "It can't
be."  I say oh yes it is: your cousin Neal and I are just like this.
Look at us.  On the porch together in Rhode Island, and he was at a
party at my house for an entire weekend last month.  So we had a
great chat about Neal and the list and she is writing long messages
in my books and the women behind me, about 50 of them, are tapping
their feet and going ahem and getting very ancy...  So, I take my
books, thank Susan for a really good time and am on my way, not even
looking back at the woman who flirted outrageously with me from the
front row, whoever she is.  My heart has been stolen away, sorry.

If it doesn't work out with Susan, I can always place an ad in the
Missed Connections section of the Personals of the local alternative
newspaper.  "Saw you at Susan Isaac signing.  Loved your smile.  Am
now available and accept your offer please call."