Date: Mon, 13 Nov 1995 02:02:14 -0800
From: Bookrat <bookrat@BOOKRAT.COM>
Subject: Sunday Brunch in PA (diegetic version)
To: Multiple recipients of list WORDS-L <WORDS-L@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU>

It was a cold and rainy day--the sort of miserable, not to mention climatically depressing, morning that is so typical of the mid-peninsula in mid-November--and as the rivulets coursed down, and into, my garments, I wondered why this day, of all the days in the year, had been fated for this particular occasion.

I arrived quite early, as is my wont, and was kept waiting for what seemed to be the *longest* time by those laggards, Rashmi and Karen. Someone tried to fool me by pretending that she was Janet, but I wasn't taken in. Unfortunately, the "pretender" really *was* Janet, who is not, as she claims, 5'4", but considerably taller.

We ate an extraordinarily healthy meal consisting solely of organically-grown vegetables and fruits, with desert consisting of Tofu Surprise, although Rashmi did sneak (from God knows where) a cheesesteak sandwich made with provolone.

We spent the entire time discussing social engineering, Ayn Rand, and semantics, much to my disgust, as I would have vastly preferred to engage in phatic drivel. Janet did not show her tittoo, even though the maitre d' (who had been well-bribed) strode up to her and demanded, "Madame! You must reveal your tittoo, or leave the premises at once!"

Despite the presence of three LFers, there was absolutely *no* discussion of Little Feet or its denizens. We were quite disappointed that //anne// could not attend, being in Sonoma the whole time. Some imposter did show up, pretending to be her, but it turned out to be Betty.

Since several individuals had paid me good money to *not* show my Wordstock pictures, I didn't show them, despite the entreaties of all present. Betty showed us some pictures that were purportedly of Bonnie, including an obviously faked photograph of "Bonnie" standing between Nipper and brad. Subsequent investigation revealed that "Bonnie" was in fact Marcia, and "brad" was in fact Neal, although (strangely enough) "Nipper" was in fact Nipper.

Upon leaving, we insisted upon viewing Betty's silver 5-speed Shadow. She, however, flatly refused to show it to us, and would not even venture into the parking lot until the rest of us departed. I, however, had sneaked back into the lot, and that is how I happened to take a picture of her driving a baby-diarrhea brown Yugo.

Faithfully reported by yr. humble correspondent,
Ken Miller
Director of Diegesis
Gilbert G. Smith School of Historiography